The Dos and Don’ts of Helping Your Best Friend Plan Her Wedding


Weddings are both the most intimidating and anticipated days of a person’s life, and the need to ensure that this life-changing event goes smoothly requires months of planning and help from friends and family. From details like the type of flowers to monumental tasks like hall booking, wedding planning is not a piece of cake. So if you are a friend or family member planning for the big day of your loved one, we have compiled the best tips for a wedding day to create beautiful memories that you can look back on fondly.

Do: Throw All Rules out the Window

There are no rules when it comes to weddings. Weddings celebrate the union of two people in the presence of their loved ones, so help your bestie have the best time of her life on her special day. Help her customize her look or her location according to the couple’s preferences and politely decline outsider opinions.

Do: Give Advice About Rings

Rings are the most integral part of the wedding. Though rings are an individual choice for the couple, you can advise your best friend about the types of rings available and which may suit her and her spouse best.

Traditional wedding rings, like metal and diamond, have always been around. However, recently silicone wedding rings have been gaining popularity, and for good reason.

  • Distinctive: You won’t find two rings that are the same. With a plethora of options in colors, patterns, and customized inscriptions on silicone rings for women and men, you can find a ring that showcases your style.
  • Safety: Many occupations ban the use of metal rings because they are a conductor of heat and electricity and carry the risk of ring avulsion injury. None of these is a headache if you own silicone rings. Silicone rings are also hypoallergenic and are great choices for sensitive skin.
  • Flexibility: Your friend will likely wear the ring for life. This means she may have to wear it during weather changes, outdoor activities, and even pregnancy. Metal rings don’t accommodate for finger width changes during these times, but silicone ones do.
  • Cost: Perhaps the biggest perk is the cost, silicone rings cost significantly less compared to the thousand-grand-worth diamond or metal rings. This makes it a good choice in case of theft or loss.

Despite their comfort and durability, many couples may be averse to the idea of silicone rings as they can’t be heirlooms or are non-traditional. In such cases, a good idea is to keep a traditional ring for the ceremony and silicone rings for everyday wear.

Do: Help Finalize the Budget

Even though this is usually decided by the couple, you can try to help by giving ideas about budget-friendly alternatives for venue ideas, decorations, and catering. Budgets greatly shape the overall outcome of the wedding day preparations.

Is your friend going over the top with flowers? Is that destination wedding guest list too big? Help keep things in perspective when she may be going overboard with the planning. However, remember to be kind to her. A bride is already stressed with planning and wedding jitters; giving her gentle reminders and reassurances when things go awry is needed.

Do: Ask What The Bride Wants

As her best friend, you are more than likely going to be delegated tasks related to the planning. Discussing your friend’s wants beforehand will help you make decisions without unnecessary and time-consuming back-and-forth queries at the last minute. This also helps your friend feel more in control of her wedding.

Your opinions may inevitably clash with the bride. Nonetheless, remember that this is her wedding, so her choices take precedence here. Give your opinion if you think there are better options but don’t pressure her. This will lead to an uncomfortable atmosphere in the already stressful planning.

Do: Offer Help with Parties

Weddings are no small affairs. In addition to the main ceremony, it is now trendy to throw bachelorette parties, bridal showers, meetups with in-laws, and religious or cultural traditions like Henna, Sangeet, Haldi, or Jewish Shava Brachot.

This requires extra planning in addition to the wedding. Therefore, it is best to clarify with your friend if she would appreciate an extra pair of hands to prepare for these events.

Do: Go Shopping

Dress shopping is one of the most important yet stressful parts of the planning process. This usually needs to be months before the ceremony. As her best friend, you are likely to accompany her to make this big decision.

Remember not to confuse your personal choice with the best fit for the bride, and carefully word your responses so as not to overwhelm her. Write down the pros and cons of each dress she tries. Try to be mindful of her style and her budget (if she asks) during fittings.

Most importantly, be her all-in-one supporter, cheerleader, and advisor as this is an emotional and cherishable moment for her.

Don’t: Lose Track

With a million things to do when planning a wedding, it is easy to lose track of everything that needs to be done. This is where you come in. Help manage the load, and ensure that tasks are being completed on time. Keep a planner, list, or Pinterest board to help you bring everything together cohesively.

Do: Give Her Time

Though the couple is the center of a wedding, it is easy for the bride to be overwhelmed by all the work and feel left out of her wedding. You need to be her emotional support when she is depressed or anxious. Let her know you are there for her and take a break from the planning to chat over a cup of coffee. This will instantly make her feel better.

Being the maid of honor is a time-consuming task. From dress fittings, invitations, guest lists, and seating arrangements, you will have a lot to do. However, this is all to make her wedding the best possible day for her. You won’t remember the sore feet or backache but a day filled with smiles and blessings.

Do: Help Spread the Word

Does the couple prefer wedding money to fund a trip or gifts for their new house? Does she want to avoid awkward games for the bachelorette party? Some things are difficult for the couple to express directly. Ask your friend their preferences and subtly drop hints to as many of the guests as possible. After all, what are best friends for?

Do: Drink After the Speech

Though it may seem wise that a little champagne can calm down the nerves before you toast to your friend’s celebrations, it is best to lay off the booze until after the speech to avoid potential embarrassment. Practice with friends or family beforehand to avoid stage fright.

Do: Share What You Know

The bride may not be well-versed in wedding planning. Help her save time by researching through Pinterest, Etsy, The Knot, and other suitable options. Ask the bride specifically what she wants help with or offer to do mundane tasks like renting chairs or lighting.

Do: Be Prepared to Be Busy on the Day

Things like extra safety pins, bandaids, and handheld steamers can be a lifesaver on the wedding day. The bride may need last-minute touch-ups or dress alterations. You also need to look out for the other bridesmaids and handle any mishaps. Try to keep the bride out of it and manage them yourself. And remember, anxiety is contagious, your anxious face may stress out the bride, so keep smiling.


Do: Remember Last Minute Jobs

Discuss with the bride-to-be about task delegation on the wedding day, giving tips, how the gifts and cards will be collected, returning any rented item, and what to do with extra food. This avoids confusion on the wedding day and ensures all will go smoothly.

Don’t: Be Overbearing

There is a fine line between being helpful and being overbearing. Know when to step back and read when your help is not needed. The safe bet is to let your friend know that you are there for her when she needs anything.

Don’t: Take Anything Personally

Breakdowns and snapping randomly are the ugly parts of wedding planning no one likes to discuss. Remember that the bride is likely in a stressful position and her behavior is out of frustration rather than malice.

Some brides like to go over the top. It may be that her tastes don’t align with yours, but it’s just one day, and if it makes her happy then so be it. You can look back over that garish green bridesmaid outfit and have a good laugh over it later.

Don’t: Worry about Achieving Perfection

There is no perfect wedding. Weddings should reflect the individuality of the uniting couple. Help your friend achieve that. Rainy weather or delayed catering can put a damper on the preparations, but don’t be disheartened by a little ordeal and cheer your friend up.

Don’t: Forget To Have Fun

Even though the wedding is going to be a busy day, it is still your best friend’s wedding. So ultimately, the most important thing is to have fun during the wedding. Drink, eat, dance, smile, and enjoy the night on your best friend’s biggest day.


As her best friend, you may need to act as her buffer against difficult family members, deal with unpleasant guests, and prevent her from going bridezilla before her big day. This is a tough position to be in, but you are also her support system throughout the wedding preparations.

Make it through all this to be part of her special day to share her happiness and cherish the beautiful moments. Best of luck!